


deliver us serenity

by stormss



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: ??? - Freeform, First Kiss, Fix-It, M/M, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 01:00:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13135848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stormss/pseuds/stormss
Summary: A quiet moment on the Falcon.





	deliver us serenity

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this almost immediately after I left the theatre, though it took me some time to post it because of _emotions_. Just some reconciliation between Poe and Leia, and a much needed conversation between Poe and Finn. 
> 
> The title is from "Ultralight Beam" by Kanye West.

Slowly, but like it always does, time passes after Crait. 

It could have been two minutes, two hours, two days — Poe is not one for relying on the concept of time, and though certainties matter to him (they matter in terms of  _life,_ and those who continue to live past war), he finds that everything has begun to blur together. He's sure of two things, and he keeps those two things at the back of his mind.

First: General Leia has never looked so weak, and so powerful, all at once. She sits now at the helm of a table, people talking around her. What remains of the Resistance exists right here, in this legendary ship, and the woman he could consider to be his mother looks  _worn._ She typically carries herself with an expert poise and dignity, and here she is: a human, effected by what she has lost. Luke Skywalker, a man Poe heard personal stories about from his mother, was dead, and Leia is mourning, so clearly that it hurts them all. She is still so strong but has allowed herself this mere moment to process it all. She has lost her brother, her beloved, her dear friend and her son in a matter of weeks, and Poe wants to hug her. 

Second: His hands have not stopped shaking since he lead his squadron into that massacre while facing a Dreadnought. Poe has piloting quite literally in his blood, and he's had steady hands since he was a child, controlling his mother's famed A-Wing with her long fingers over his. But now his fingers are trembling, and even when he tries to curl them into a fist the whole damn thing shakes like a leaf. 

Poe spares a glance upward, and he finds that everything he loves is now within reach, but he is too afraid to touch. 

Pilots, engineers, med-droids...they are all crammed into the  _Falcon_ , communicating for the most part in Basic. Poe knows that the general question that is being asked is:  _are you okay?_ And it comes to him all at once that if he were asked this, he doesn't know how he would answer. 

Someone, whether it's Connix or another Admiral or even Leia herself, suggests some planet in the Outer Rim as their destination. Friends of the Resistance were needed, and it was clear that Bespin would hold the solution to their problems. Hopefully. Rey has been quietly alternating between sitting with Leia and hovering over Rose with Finn, and when the destination is finally agreed upon she squeezes Leia's hand, hugs Finn, and then moves deftly to the cockpit to help Chewie. 

Poe watches Finn, and he feels something in his chest ache when he sees how tightly he holds Rose's hand. He shouldn't be jealous — he has no right to be — but it still takes a lot of damn effort to hold his tongue and keep to himself. Finn's always right there, front and centre in his mind, and Poe tries not to think about the man dying. 

It's happened a lot, recently, and he fucking hates it. 

He hates the nightmares. 

Poe has them a lot; they're frequent, and awful, and they always end with Finn dying just before Poe can help him. He dreams of Ren's blade cutting through Finn's spine; he dreams of Finn dying in the med-bay; he dreams of Finn and Finn and _Finn._ But now he closes his eyes and imagines him dying on that damned suicide mission, and it makes him...angry. He cannot imagine a world without the other man in it. The galaxy would be bare, and the stars would lose some of their shine, and — 

"Poe."

He looks up, through curls that have become unruly through a strenuous day, and sees General Organa.

She sounds soft when she says his name, motherly, almost, and it pangs somewhere deep in his chest. 

"Ma'am, I —" he starts, getting to his feet. He hadn't even noticed that she left her spot on the opposite side of the ship. She offers him a hand, but doesn't let him continue. 

Leia smiles at him, that sad half-smile that shows him that she understands all that he wants to say, but cannot turn into words. "Poe, I do not want to hear one utterance of an apology. You have done enough of that."

"What would you like to hear, then?" Poe asks, fiddling with the chain around his neck. Leia's hand on his stops him.  _Comfort._ She knows of his nervous ticks, as he has started to pick up on hers. 

"That you're okay." 

And there it is. The dreaded question, only posed differently than Poe had been expecting. 

Poe cannot meet her eyes. 

"I don't know that I am." 

Leia puts an arm around him, then, and he hates how quickly he leans into her embrace. "You have to know that I have felt what you are feeling, and it does not completely go away.  _But,_ over time, we find things and we find people that help us. We find something that makes this feeling slowly ebb away." 

Poe meets her gaze. 

"You will be okay, and that is something I know deep down, Poe." Leia squeezes his shoulder, before removing her arm. "But for now, I think I'm going to leave you alone." 

"I thought we were having a moment, General," Poe smiles, just enough to show her that he's coming around. 

"I think you'll be wanting a  _moment_ with somebody else, Commander." Leia winks at him, and he's fucking floored, for a second, until he feels a hand on his elbow and he turns too quickly to come face to face with Finn. 

A strange combination of anger and adoration hits him like a blast to the chest. 

"Hey, uh, could we talk?" Finn asks, and there's a scrape high on his cheekbone, and Poe wants to kiss it. He nods and straightens his posture, and follows the younger man to one of the very few unoccupied corners of the  _Falcon._ Poe can't help but to imagine Finn and Rey moving in unison on this very ship, and he eagerly wants to have a go at flying it. But Finn looks serious, and Poe meets his eyes, the two of them basically touching chest-to-chest in the tiny area Finn found for them. 

"Is Rose...?" Poe trails off, unsure if this is where Finn intended on taking the conversation. 

"She's okay, she's healing," Finn says, scratching the back of his head. "There's nothing they can do for her now, except let her sleep all the meds off." 

Poe finds himself nodding, and he feels his fist trembling at his side. He has to say it.

"You could've gotten yourself killed, Finn." 

Finn opens his mouth to protest, but Poe keeps pushing through this because if he doesn't, it'll never get said. 

"You don't...I can't... _fuck,_ Finn, I really can't lose you." Poe admits, quickly adding, " _We_ can't lose you." 

"It could have destroyed the core of the First Order, Poe!" Finn says. "Those bastards would have been left scrambling for power if I had done it. And you know that."

"War doesn't have to come down to suicide missions, okay? You're a hero, Finn, a really  _great fucking hero,_ and the Resistance needs you." 

That one word seems to have hit Finn in a way Poe wasn't expecting.  _Hero._ Did he not know that that was exactly what he was? 

"I need you." Poe admits, because he's just blurting out everything today, isn't he? 

Finn bows his head, and when he looks back up, there's something softer in his eyes. Poe's pretty damn sure he looks the exact same. Frustration ebbs into something delicate, and Poe imagines something blooming in his heart. 

"Rose, uh. She told me, back before she passed out, that war was about ' _saving what we love.'_ " Finn shrugs a little. "Back in the First Order, we were taught about blocking that sort of stuff out. We were trained to kill, and to like killing, and to only want to do it for the cause." 

"Buddy..."

"I never knew what love was, Poe. But then there was Rey. And Leia, and Rose, and BB-8," he huffs out a little chuckle, and Poe matches it with a smile. "And there was you." 

Poe inhales sharply through his nose, and settles his hand on Finn's shoulder. He's known he's been in love with Finn since he saw him again on the Resistance base after thinking he was dead. His hand moves slowly upward from Finn's shoulder. His fingertips graze Finn's neck; his knuckles bump against the line of his jaw. Finn's eyes are closed, and Poe tells him, right there, because they may not find a moment like this again. 

"I love you." 

And it's all it takes for Finn to close the distance between them. 

It takes Poe by surprise — enough for his back to hit the cold metal of the wall behind him, but it doesn't stop him from properly cupping Finn's cheek with his hand and kissing him back. Finn's inexperience shows, but he's enthusiastic about kissing Poe, like he is with everything he does. He throws his whole damned heart into it, and Poe loves him,  _he loves him._

They pull away, and Poe feels like a kid again. It isn't like he's never kissed anyone before, but he's sure he's never felt _this_. This warmth spreading through him, electrifying him wherever his body meets Finn's. Poe's grinning and Finn's grinning right back at him, and they barely meet each other's gaze before they're laughing and kissing again, and again, and again. Poe could kiss him for hours, could let himself be kissed by him for hours, he doesn't care. 

Air becomes a necessity, and Poe tries to run a hand through his hair. His curls have become even more unruly in the last five minutes, though this is something he'll never get tired of, and that's a certainty he cares to uphold. 

"Oh, and I'm sorry for losing your jacket." 

There's a slight bit of humour in his tone, because they really did start all of this over a _jacket_. But Poe's smiling until he meets Finn's eyes, and he realizes that the other man is genuinely kind of torn about losing it to the First Order's destroyed ship. 

"Finn, you're all I need, buddy." Poe promises, ducking in to kiss his cheek, his jaw, the corner of his mouth. Finn smiles and playfully pushes him away, but tugs him back in close when he gets too far away. As they walk back toward the noise of the Resistance, they return to reality with every step.

The war continues, and even though Poe knows he has to think like a leader, all he can think about now is the press of his mother's ring against his sternum. He doesn't want to think too far ahead but a part of him is still an optimist, mixed in with his mother's realism, and he _knows_ that it will suit Finn perfectly, one day. 

And that part of him can't wait for that day to come. 

**Author's Note:**

> Sort of a cheesy ending, but, hey, happy holidays! This was definitely the first of many FinnPoe fics I will likely be posting over my break from school, so look out for those!
> 
> Drop a comment if you have the time!! 
> 
> My [ tumblr! ](http://bi-kipling.tumblr.com/)


End file.
